The Fence Post That Had Scrambled Eggs For Breakfast.

What if Annie Dillard read William Kennedy's story about eggs? She would tell him "All things in the world were interesting, infinitely interesting, so long as you had attention to give them."  I wonder if Annie Dillard's advice would lead William Kennedy's story about eggs to become interesting.  So then I thought, "What is the most boring thing I can come up with and make it interesting?" The first thought that came to mind was the ever-cliche phrase associated with boredom: "watching paint dry."  I immediately pictured a white fence, freshly painted on a bright sunny day.  Though it was a satisfying image, what made it interesting?  So then I thought what if one fence post grew legs and a face formed, smiling at its new-found abilities and laughing at all the other fence posts that could not do anything except stay stuck in the ground?  The fence post would hop away dripping paint as he found his way to the same diner that Kennedy's man ordered scrambled eggs at.  The fence post would then slip onto the bar stool next to the man eating scrambled eggs and ordered the same thing.  The counterman would be so shocked that a wet fence post was sitting at his counter that he would forget to even recommend the goulash and serve the fence post the scrambled eggs he had ordered.  The fence post would eat, pay, and leave, leaving a big white-paint-fence-post-butt-mark on his stool. This image, unexpected, yes, but still boring and forgettable.
Reading all these short stories just emphasized the most important thing about writing that I have learned in AP Comp in two weeks: that writing requires emotion and personality.  Eudora Welty says a writer should not write about what he knows but what he doesn't know about he knows.  So combine this with Annie Dillard's advice and you have the ultimate guiding light of writing, right? Mix emotion and Welty and Dillard all up like it's my grandma's stuffing on Thanksgiving and shove it up that uncooked turkey that is a piece of paper, just waiting to be filled with interesting.  Kennedy knows the man went to the diner to eat eggs, but why? Would he go there every Sunday for breakfast eggs with his Pa, but now Pa is gone? Then make the reader feel his pain and sadness.  Why did the counterman want the man to order goulash instead?  Had he slaved over it all morning, perfecting it, just hoping someone would order and praise it? Then write about that.  Writing takes time, you have to go beyond what you know to find what makes it interesting.  The writing that sticks with people is the writing that makes them feel.  You want them to cry, and laugh, and scream at your words because that is what makes writing memorable, and that, is what makes writing interesting.