to infinity and beyond

Sunday, November 27, 2011

My Heart Is Remarkably Similar to a Jenga Tower

As I write this, I have a dog's butt wiggling in my face, two different aunts sitting on top of me, and a killer stomach ache because I ate a mountain of ice cream even though I know it makes me sick.

Okay so it is the next day and none of this is still happening (except the stomach ache--blugh) but I enjoy the picture that went along with that last part so I'm not going to delete it.  This post was originally going to be about what I am thankful for, but, it turns out, I learned something more significant (well, significantly cheesy, if you will)about myself.  Since no one actually really reads my blog, I can feel like I told someone about it without actually really telling anyone (just because I said that TONS of people are going to read this.... hehe jokes).  To the self-proclaimed ice queen, cringe as much as you want, but props to me for blogging outside of it being an assignment.

The scenario is this: My anxiety is raging as the whole family and I sit around the dining room table playing a game of Jenga. If you don't know what Jenga is take a look at the photo to your right.  A tower is built up and everyone takes turns pulling out a block from the tower and then setting it on top.  The person to make the tower fall loses.  In short, it is incredibly tedious and nerve-racking if you are the competitive sort.  As I watch the tower become more fragile, teetering back and forth with each pull, I realize I'm watching a real-life scenario of my heart.  CRASH. The tower refuses to support one more tug and it collapses. Jenga.

My heart started off as this sturdy tower.  As life goes, shitty stuff happened, and people or things took my blocks and pulled them out.  At first the missing blocks didn't make much of a difference, but as time went on I began to wiggle and wobble back and forth precariously because my support was diminishing.  And then one day, he decided to pull the last block holding my heart together.  Or actually, I think he decided to take his fist and shoot it right through that heart of mine.  No longer was there a tower, but bits and pieces of blocks scattered across the table.  So what did I do?  I did the only thing I could.  I picked up those blocks and I put that tower back together.  All sturdy and new... well almost.  Those blocks still have dents and bruises and those blocks still remember the last time they were pulled apart.  So I keep going and going every day and people pull at my blocks and I can't stop them because it isn't my turn.  I rebuild and I learn.  I strategize on how to protect those blocks from getting pulled. How to keep the dog from chewing on the pieces that have already been taken.  And I remember, that even if my tower falls again, I can still rebuild it. Always.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

We're Not 'In a Relationship,' But We Seem To Have a Relationship.

one. It can be classified as a connection, association, or involvement.  A connection between persons by blood or marriage.  An emotional or other connection between people.  Or a sexual involvement.  While all of these different facts make up a relationship, they have one more thing in common: They all require living things.  If you really thought about it, would you consider yourself to have a relationship with your favorite chair or your favorite food?  Or would you be more inclined to say you have a relationship with your mom or your dog?  When it comes down to it, a relationship requires two beings linked together in some sort of way.


Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers.
Mary Tyler Moore

two. In my mind, I thought relationships, as in "We're exclusive" and "We have feelings for each other," was more than sitting in the basement and making out.  I thought it was what I had with, we'll call him Conrad Dobler (My dad's nickname for 'THAT boy').  My idea of "going on a date" was going and doing something fun together.  We watched movies that we both really wanted to see.  We placed bets on our one-on-one pick-up basketball games we played.  And he kissed me.  And not in an “I want to get in your panties” sort of way but in a respectful “I’m doing this being I like you” sort of way.  And apparently that relationship we had was just a friendship.  Excuse me for getting the wrong idea.  So really what is a relationship?  Because I have plenty of relationships with people, heck, I have a relationship with every single person I know.  But my real question is, what makes two people “In a Relationship,” as we call it these days?  Because that relationship I had sure as hell wasn’t like my relationship with any of my other “friends.”

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
Woody Allen

three. In relationships you have two options.  You can either choose to put yourself first, or you can choose to put the other person first.  For a relationship to be truly successful and healthy, both people must put the other first.  Unfortunately this is not the natural inclination for most.  Putting the other person first isn’t always the easiest choice, most of the time it is the hardest.  People act selfish and cowardly.  They think only of how the relationship is benefiting them and ignore how it is hurting the other person.  Anthony Hopkins once said "Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take." Relationships are about give and take.  They might not always be what you want them to be, but for them to work it is a necessity that both parties involved give more than they take.


Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement...all success... all achievement in real life grows.
Ben Stein

four. Relationships begin by meeting.  Meeting by chance or meeting by plan.  A bond is instantly formed, sometimes wearing away over time or growing stronger until it reaches a point where it will never be broken.  With each subsequent meeting, the relationship is enhanced and defined.  The definition of each different relationship is unique, because of every relationship is different, like the patterns on your skin or the sequence of your DNA.  Each enhancement can be positive or negative but nevertheless it still engraves the relationship’s definition even deeper into stone. They make up who we are. What relationships leave us with is a broad range of feelings.  They can make us unbelievably happy or unbelievably sad.  Sometimes we’re proud, guilty, brave, disappointed, resentful, strong, or a whole long list of other infinite possible feelings.
 
Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others.
Stephen R. Covey

five. Family.  Friends.  Lovers.  These are really the three main types of positive relationships.  Family includes the relationships you don't get to choose.  They are instilled from birth and never vanish.  It is the only relationship that is capable of unconditional love.  Friends are the relationships you get to choose.  It seems like friendships are typically the easiest relationships to have because for some reason they bring out the best in us more than anything else.  Relationships with lovers are the most volatile.  They evoke the most intense emotions in us.   We hurt the most for them and we care the most for them yet they seem to last the longest.

You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.
Frederick Buechner

six. It smells like your boyfriend’s cologne.  It sounds like your friend’s favorite song.  It feels like grandma rubbing your back until you fall asleep when she visits.  It tastes like your aunt’s turkey on Thanksgiving.  It looks like the picture of your first time on the Wild Thing with your brother.  The five senses of relationships are defined by the reminders of the people in our life.  It’s when you rub your own granddaughter’s back years later and remember your grandma, when you look at the picture and remember your brother, when you sit down for Thanksgiving dinner and remember your aunt.

ANSWER KEY:
1. Definition
2. Narration
3. Argument/Persuasion
4. Cause/Effect
5. Classification/Division
6. Example

Sunday, November 20, 2011

If Music Be The Food Of Love, Play On

Music.  Sometimes it seems like it is the only thing that understands me.  There are all these songs out there that describe exactly what I'm feeling even when I can't.  I was thinking about rhetorical analysis, and I realized songs are arguments wrapped up in three minutes filled with voice and style and tone. Basically like an argument burrito.  Everything really is an argument.


If you think about it, music could be the most effective argument there is.  It's pleasing to our ears, we want to hear it.  The lyrics are packed with events or feelings we can relate to, building the argument's believability/credibility.  They pull on our emotions.  We laugh. We cry. We smile. We rage.  And all of this we do with music. 


Looking through my iPod I noticed the majority of my songs were about love.  I think plenty of people could look through their own playlists and say the same.  Why?  I think people's lives are centered around love.  Giving it.  Receiving it. Losing it.  Sometimes we have no idea how to put it into words and when we find that perfect way to verbalize it we want to scream it to everyone so the whole world knows or we just want to keep it to ourselves as our own little secret.   


Love is all about support.  Loving means supporting.  Losing love leaves you in need of support.  Music offers us a different kind of support.  It supports us by finding our feelings, even if there are no words.  It supports us by showing we aren't alone. 


It all ends up going back to being an argument.  Music is about love.  Love is about supporting.  Good arguments need support. 

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Hey Sexy Lady, I Wanna Get To Know Ya

When was the last time you turned on a mainstream music station or television channel and didn't see something to do with sex or alcohol?  For me, I can't even remember.  When we walk into a store, go to a school dance, or simply sit at home and watch TV, there is typically some type of song that involves getting really shwasted, getting lots of poon (action), or grinding hard booties.  If Pitbull and Britney have sex with lots of people, that means it is okay for me to do that too, right?  These musical "artists," whether we want to admit it or not, are our role models.  They are the people we look to for examples.  It isn't because we think they are really awesome people and should follow in their footsteps to lead a good Samaritan life. It's because in our eyes, they are success.  They make all this money by taking their clothes off for the camera and singing about it.  We think "Wow. That sure is much easier than doing my homework!"  I'm not trying to say that we see all these nakey, thrusting bodies and think that if we take our clothes off and get kinky we will be really successful in life too.  That is not the case.  What we see is what used to be risque.  But then these "stars" came and pushed the envelope (dying metaphor, I know) and they got away with it.  People said, "Hey! They're cool!" Gradually, people began to accept the shedding of clothing and movement into highly explicit lyrics.  No longer was it taboo to get drunk and hook up with some random guy.  So now we are at a point where chicks go naked in the slammer (Lady Gaga and Beyonce -- Telephone), men sing about the lack of respect they have for women (E=MC Vagina), and those intimate details from last night? Yeah he told everyone (David Banner -- Play).  These videos are supposed to be entertaining and funny, but really, would you be able to watch them with your grandma?

Consider the possibility that these desensitized values were here in the first place and these artists just came along and broadcasted them.  In all reality, this is highly unlikely.  The music business is all about the future, finding what type of music is new and innovative.  What haven't people seen or heard before.  They've created this acceptance of degradation.  The media is the necessary tool for spreading far and wide this new frontier of sexuality. How else would a whole ideal be so omnipresent in our country and accepted?

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Food Snob... Kind Of

Salutations! A warm hello to everyone!
SO the goal of this blog post is for my inner voice to be heard... If I only I had time to blog when I actually had things on my mind that I wanted to blog about.  My brain is kind of spastic and I can go from thinking about garbage trucks to Mariah Carey (okay so I guess those are kind of similiar) in like a millisecond. Yeah, THAT fast.

To the right you will see my dinner last night.  I'm getting giddy looking at it.  Seriously, if you haven't tried it, you are missing out on something better than true love.  Maybe I should tell you what it is... this glorious creation sent from Heaven is the BLVD Royale burger with cheese.  That is, stacked with american cheese, caramelized onion, frizzled onion, on a pretzel bun.

Something to know about me: I love good food more than I love cute boys.  THAT IS SERIOUSLY SAYING SOMETHING.  Unfortunately for me, really spectacular food is hard to find in this place we live in called the Twin Cities.Therefore, I feel the need to share with everyone some of my favorites.
I have really only barely touched the surface of my food obsession for you dear followers (aka Ms. Cardona and my dad) but I hope you enjoyed your little glimpse into my wacked out brain.  According to spell check, 'wacked' is not a word.  Well you know what I say about that? 'Wacked' is a word in my world.  Okay back to my purpose, I'm starting to get a handle on this whole blogging thing and saying "Fuggit! I'll say what I want!"  I don't need to be so concerned about embarrassing myself on this thing because, hey, no one even reads it anyway! So here you go:  I love food!